Sitting here...
I see something.
I don't know how.
There was a man.
He was hopelessly in love.
She was wonderful, put simply. Everything.
No matter what happened, it was always the same.
Questions he could never bring himself to ask.
Assumptions he could not bring himself to confirm.
He just wanted to stand by her, to never question her ideals.
To never fall back on his support.
To do the right things, to be the perfect man.
Taking everything in his stride.
He never dreamed...
Of burdening her with life's work.
He never wanted...
To share or unload even a little of life's burden upon his shoulders.
He often wondered...
What was truely his place within her.
He often dreamed...
A life together for eternity.
He often wanted...
To tell her how much she completed him, how much her presence brought him peace despite anything he had to go through.
This man?
He wondered many things.
Was she ever truely his?
Could he keep smiling despite this gnawing pain? This hollowness he felt within.
In a way, he thought her smile was enough.
Somehow, it could only numb...
That loneliness he refused point blank to acknowledge.
It claws reined in by chains, kept in check.
Finally, the carnage raising in his head got the better of him.
He knew...
Thought he should leave.
He finally tried to say something, but.
He couldn't bear to.
Half heartedly, he couldn't get straight to the point.
In a way, he got an answer.
An assurance. An assurance of his importance and her feelings.
It happened on Sunday.
He knew still... He knew.
Though she said nothing, told nothing.
It nagged at him but he shut it out.
Alone now, I look at him.
The man? He's smiling.
His eyes, they look so sad...
We speak, barest of a whisper...
"I love her, nothing else matters. If I could turn back the time, if I could turn back the time...... No, I would not dream of changing it."
He stands and leaves.
Hands in his pockets, a wind chilling to the bones.
Dramatic.
I light my cigarette.
He follows suit.
I can't take my eyes of him, underneath that smile...
I see the tears.
An endless rain.
Crucify my love...
